Warning: This text incorporates spoilers for the HBO present Succession.
After 5 years of maintaining viewers on their toes, the season finale of Succession wrapped up a drama-filled journey with a bang.
The present detailed the Roy youngsters’s battle to succeed their father as CEO of the fictional media big Waystar Royco.
Seems, the successor isn’t a Roy baby in any respect.
For me, what’s most attention-grabbing about Tom’s rise to energy because the CEO of Waystar Royco is the continual shift in energy dynamics along with his spouse, Siobhan “Shiv” Roy.
Shiv and Tom have a posh relationship arc which the present follows diligently, with Shiv constantly within the driver’s seat.
That’s, till she’s not.
What the present accomplishes so effortlessly is showcasing how energy and expectations create battle in marriage. Whereas it’s true that the majority of us haven’t been in line to inherit our household’s multi-billion greenback firm, we will maybe relate to how work, household, and life create advanced, difficult dynamics.
Shiv & Tom’s relationship is extremely dysfunctional, however there are some invaluable classes to extract for all of us.
Energy Struggles in Marriage
Tom and Shiv don’t have what will be thought-about a wholesome relationship.
From our first introduction to them as a pair, it’s obvious that Tom is the loyal pet canine whereas Shiv stays cool and manipulative.
In her plight for energy (and her father’s approval), Shiv’s major focus is positioning herself with somebody that may be a non-threat to her standing. Bumbling Tom, along with his humble, Midwest beginnings, suits the invoice.
Because the present progresses, we see a relentless push-pull between the couple. Tom eagerly bows to Shiv’s manipulations (together with being talked into an open marriage shortly after their marriage ceremony).
The extra emotional distance Shiv maintains, the extra keen Tom is to acquiesce to her calls for. It’s not shocking, then, when he finally realizes that their relationship isn’t constructed on love or respect however slightly is transactional.
That is when the drama kicks up. With the emotional ties to Shiv severed, Tom, at the same time as a non-blood-relative, can solidify his allegiance with Logan Roy, the present’s larger-than-life patriarch. And Tom can do that guilt-free, giving him a bonus over the Roy siblings for CEO. Romantic, proper?
Our personal energy struggles might not manifest so dramatically, however work and household can definitely fire up unease, particularly once they’re insidiously blended collectively.
For many people, energy struggles crop up in just a few methods. One considerations childrearing and bread-winning. Resentment can turn into a problem when one particular person feels they have to put their profession on maintain whereas the opposite continues their skilled improvement, creating a possible dependency.
Energy struggles might creep up when one companion constantly pushes their agenda within the relationship or manipulates conditions to get their approach.
No matter it’s, these imbalances are assured to go away one particular person feeling dissatisfied and disrespected. Left unchecked, it may result in a Tom-level show of apathy and betrayal.
The takeaway? An imbalanced relationship is an unhealthy relationship. In the event you really feel such as you continuously battle for management along with your companion, it’s essential to investigate why you’re feeling that approach and converse up.
Expectations in Marriage
The distinction between Shiv and Tom’s upbringings guides their strategy to the connection.
We now have Shiv, with emotionally-stilted mother and father whose major motivators are cash and affect, contrasted to Tom, who comes from a healthful household and maybe a extra “conventional” view of marriage.
In earlier seasons, Tom is raring to solidify his place within the Roy household with gestures and favors, typically overextending himself or approaching too sturdy to show his allegiance.
It’s apparent that Tom is in it for the lengthy haul, and whereas he’s removed from morally sound, he appears to have real love for Shiv.
However, Shiv is just involved with how her relationship will additional her standing as next-in-line to the Waystar throne.
So what occurs when two folks with very totally different expectations of their relationship come collectively? Virtually all the time: disappointment and battle.
That is the place we see Shiv and Tom’s relationship unravel. Not solely are Tom’s expectations turned on their head, however when he practices vulnerability with Shiv, he’s shut down or ridiculed.
From there, it’s a sluggish march to the deterioration of their marriage.
Succession could also be fiction, however the fallout of this kind of miscommunication may be very actual. It’s paramount to debate life, intimacy, household, and monetary objectives as a pair earlier than tying the knot.
This unveils intentions and expectations that you could be not have in any other case thought-about and illuminates how receptive your companion could also be to your wishes. Sharing how marriage and partnership had been modeled in your personal household and the way which will differ out of your companion’s will assist you every perceive how your preliminary expectations had been shaped.
Do you each need youngsters? Is one in all you keen to think about it if not? Are you extra snug in a 9-5 job, or do you hope to journey the nation in an RV and make it up as you go?
We connect significance to those life decisions, and it’s higher to clear the air than end up in a scenario the place you’re in fixed battle since you shied away from vital conversations.
To Keep Married Or Not?
There’s a second for a lot of separated or divorced {couples} the place they weigh the professionals and cons of staying collectively. For Shiv and Tom, there have been some apparent causes to finish the season with a “rekindling” of the wedding, even whether it is blatantly loveless.
The primary and most obvious is the anticipated delivery of their baby. The second and possibly extra vital is Shiv’s realization that with Tom as CEO of Waystar Royco, it’s her solely shot at affect inside the firm, even when it means pulling strings within the background whereas her husband acts because the speaking head. It’s not the result she most well-liked however the one method to fulfill her need for energy.
In fact, these are usually not totally relatable or beneficial causes to remain married, however the inner debate of whether or not to stay married isn’t unusual.
Whereas I’d by no means be so daring as to let you know when or why to remain in a wedding, I do know this: uninhibited and weak conversations along with your companion are a necessary step in the suitable course. Solely by way of these conversations will you be capable to deduce the ache factors in your relationship and the way keen you each are to work towards repairing the injury.
As for Shiv & Tom? The communication is sorely missing, however contemplating their ethical ambiguity, taking up Waystar Royco as allies might be sufficient motivation to maintain them collectively.
Closing Ideas on Marriage & Energy
I feel it goes with out saying that you simply shouldn’t use Shiv & Tom’s relationship as a mannequin for problem-solving your marital points. Nonetheless, the forwards and backwards of their marriage exemplifies how a relationship might shortly disintegrate with out empathy and communication.
So, if there’s an imbalance in your relationship: discuss it. In case your companion continuously undercuts your feelings, think about the long-term impression in your well-being. And in case you’re caught up in a dumpster fireplace of heated household succession drama, perhaps hit pause on life and take a trip as a pair.
I assist {couples} obtain long-term marital success with prenups and postnups. Be at liberty to achieve out in case you’re in want of an skilled, assured, and caring household regulation lawyer who will present compassionate authorized assist by way of emotional occasions.
