Warning: this text contains spoilers for the Netflix sequence Intercourse/Life.
The attract of Hollywood is that it transports us to an alternate actuality. A spot that displays our personal human experiences however with a bit of extra drama and glamor — a extra engaging mirror to the self.
The sequence “Intercourse/Life” on Netflix is a first-rate instance of Hollywood’s tackle household, marriage, and pining over the previous. General, it nails quite a lot of the experiences of marriage and divorce, simply dressed up.
Together with the everyday themes of monogamy and identification after kids, Intercourse/Life dives into the realities of parenting and relationship post-divorce.
However ought to the teachings from the present be used as a roadmap for navigating your individual marriage or divorce?
Listed below are my ideas on what the present will get proper and what ought to be left behind.
What Intercourse/Life Will get Proper
The Risks of Dishonesty
The meat of Intercourse/Life facilities round a hidden previous – specifically, the profoundly passionate relationship that our protagonist, Billie, had earlier than her marriage. She by no means discloses this relationship to her husband, Cooper, and as soon as he finds out that she nonetheless pines for her ex, Brad, it units off a series of occasions that in the end leads to their divorce.
So did they divorce as a result of Billie by no means instructed Cooper about Brad?
As with most divorce, the demise of the connection can’t be diminished to at least one occasion. However the basic lack of communication is a significant pink flag. As Billie and Cooper navigate their divorce, it turns into extra obvious that a lot was left to debate all through their marriage.
Whereas Intercourse/Life doesn’t overtly establish it, it’s a basic cautionary story in opposition to retaining secrets and techniques out of your partner and the way even one omission can set the stage for a dishonest relationship.
Pre and Submit-Divorce Fragility
One of many present’s deserves is that it doesn’t gloss over the realities of the feelings skilled earlier than, throughout, and after divorce. We even get a complete episode devoted to the day of the divorce and Billie’s coping together with her failed marriage.
As she indicators the divorce papers, she displays, “All of the sudden, eight years of marriage is diminished to property, settlements, and schedules. All these moments that we treasured collectively, who will get them?”
We additionally see Billie navigate parenting as a divorcee and the conversations it forces together with her kids, who’re too younger to know the gravity of the state of affairs.
After which there’s Cooper, who within the aftermath of the divorce, goes off the rails (to place it evenly). Cooper’s wild night time out and subsequent automobile wreck is likely to be Hollywood’s dramatic interpretation of a “boys gone wild” divorce occasion, however the feelings are nonetheless correct.
General, the present nails the uncooked feelings sparked by divorce. Simply perhaps go away the ill-advised coping methods to the actors.
Co-Parenting & Relationship Submit-Divorce
Whereas the parenting angle is nearly absent from Season 1 (significantly, Olga deserves a increase), we get a deeper glimpse into Billie and Cooper’s makes an attempt at balancing parenting and separation in Season 2.
We watch Billie battle to take care of a brand new relationship and be practical together with her companion about what it means to be a mom and a girlfriend. When she lastly introduces this different facet of herself to her new boyfriend, it doesn’t work out, confirming that single-parenting and relationship take work and an emotionally clever companion to satisfy you midway.
On the co-parenting entrance, Billie and Cooper expertise quite a lot of the everyday back-and-forth, together with how and when it’s acceptable to introduce new companions to your kids, and learn how to bodily be current to your children whenever you really feel like you may hardly present up for your self. They could arrive at a decision a bit of faster than the everyday couple, however on the entire, it’s a stable reflection of the difficulties related to parenting collectively however individually.
What Intercourse/Life Will get Flawed
Performing on Impulses
I’d be the primary to confess that it might make for a fairly boring present if not one of the characters acted impulsively. Having mentioned that, don’t – I repeat, don’t – apply even half of those plot traces to your actual life.
Ducking out in your partner for a complete night to go to an ex-boyfriend within the metropolis? Dangerous.
Exhibiting as much as your partner’s ex’s non-public residence to speak about your relationship? Simply no.
Happening a cocaine-fueled post-divorce bender? Most likely shouldn’t.
I’ll admit it makes for good drama, however in the true world, being extremely reactive is an effective way to set your life on fireplace. In the event you’re feeling deep unhappiness or dissatisfaction, it would prevent quite a lot of time and heartache to have the robust conversations along with your partner first.
The Idea of “One Large Love”
It’s a well-recognized Hollywood trope that everyone knows and love. It’s additionally a bit of harmful. Season 2 ends on a contented be aware with Billie marrying Brad (and oh hey, there’s a child on the way in which!)
With this ending, evidently each reckless selection that Billie made was for the better good, the pursuit of her one real love, Brad.
Look, marriage isn’t at all times going to be simple. And there are quite a lot of good causes to break up. However getting swept up in daydreams of leaving your partner for a previous flame (who’s married with a child by the point we get by Season 2) ought to most likely be saved to only that — a daydream — within the absence of any constructive dialogue along with your important different.
I congratulate those who have discovered their “one huge love.” And perhaps Billie is true when she says, “Once you select who you spend your life with, you’re additionally selecting who you need to be on this planet. However you may’t make that selection till you recognize who you’re…” implying that she didn’t absolutely perceive her identification when she married Cooper. However in the true world, blowing up your life for the idea of your one real love is much less prone to finish in Billie’s fortunately ever after.
Key Takeaways
Intercourse/Life is a enjoyable (and spicy) account of the realities of marriage, divorce, and pining for what was. Whereas it could take a dramatic and, at instances, unrealistic Hollywood spin on relationships, it does a great job of strolling the viewer by the human expertise hooked up to, properly, intercourse and life.
Ultimately, there are precious classes to be gleaned: at all times come to your relationships from a spot of honesty, know when to respect your self and stroll away, and naturally, don’t drive a sports activities automobile at excessive pace after occurring a drug and alcohol-fueled binge.
